


Everything I Wanted

by givemesomewings



Series: You Do Something to Me [1]
Category: Daredevil (TV), The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: ... Of sorts, Alternate Origin Story, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, But mostly..., Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Frank deserves better, Heavy Angst, High School, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Jack Being an Asshole, M/M, Matt Can See, Meet the Family, Meeting the Parents, Origin Story, Sad Ending, Smut, as is to be expected
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-18 17:48:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21530848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/givemesomewings/pseuds/givemesomewings
Summary: He would always remember his Red, and sometimes even laugh at the fact that, of all the crumbs of happiness he’d found in this shitty life God had given him, the devil had given him the greatest one.
Relationships: Frank Castle/Matt Murdock
Series: You Do Something to Me [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1572853
Comments: 12
Kudos: 68





	Everything I Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> Matt is a high school senior bringing his boyfriend home to meet his father for the first time. Things, unfortunately, don’t go as planned.
> 
> *All characters are at least 18 years old.*
> 
> Beta’d by the absolutely AMAZING simplykayley and loosely inspired by the song “everything i wanted” by Billie Eilish (mostly because I have trouble separating any of my hyper-fixations, which in this case are Fratt and literally all of Billie’s music). Please enjoy!

Frank sat, straddling Matt’s waist as he lay across Frank’s old twin bed. The mattress was barely big enough to fit the two of them and the frame creaked with every movement they made. Everytime the thing made a noise, Matt couldn’t help but jump, afraid that it was going to come tumbling down. And Frank was only making matters worse.

“Frank! Frank, I’m serious, cut it out!” Matt laughed. Frank was bent nearly in half, his spine curving as he leaned forward as best he could to press soft but urgent kisses to Matt’s neck.

“What?” Frank asked playfully, smiling as he shuffled backwards down Matt’s legs. He pressed more kisses to Matt’s chest as he went. The bed creaked again.

“Frank!” Matt yelled when the frame swayed dangerously for a second time, his wide smile dismissing the faux panic in his voice. Frank moved in between Matt’s legs, using his arms to trap Matt’s body under his on either side. He leant forward and started kissing Matt, all the while ignoring Matt’s warnings.

Matt gripped Frank’s biceps as he accepted the kiss. His hands slowly moved up Frank’s arms before using them to frame Frank’s smirking face.

“Would you quit, complainin’?” Frank asked as he looked down at his boyfriend. “This bed can handle a lot more than a little fooling around,” he said, his voice rumbling as he turned to press a kiss to Matt’s hand. “As you’ve proven at least...” Frank made a show of pretending to think over his next statement, “What? Ten, maybe fifteen times?”

Matt shoved at Frank’s chest as his rumbling laughter filled up the room. “At least!” Frank said between his fits of laughter and Matt’s assault.

“Shut up,” Matt smiled. He wound his arms around Frank’s neck and pulled him in for another kiss.

After a couple minutes of this, Matt felt Frank’s hardness pressing against his own. Frank began to grind against him and Matt moaned softly in his ear. Frank went to press more wet kisses against his neck.

As their thrusts became more insistent, Frank placed one of his hands behind Matt’s head. Frank stopped looming over his boyfriend to gently pull him upward as Frank moved to a sitting position. He sat in the middle of his bed as Matt joined him on his lap, mirroring the position Frank had been in just a few minutes earlier.

As they kissed, Frank let his hands circle Matt’s waist and then slowly move below the waistband of his jeans, cupping Matt’s ass in his hands.

Matt broke the kiss to look over Frank’s shoulder at an old alarm clock sitting on Frank’s dresser. When he saw the time, he dodged Frank’s next attempt at a kiss.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Matt smiled, leaning forward again to speak directly against Frank’s lips. “We’re gonna be late.”

He moved to get off of Frank’s lap, but Frank held onto him, grunting lowly in protest. He looked up at Matt with his best puppy dog eyes, hands still gripping his ass. Matt just chuckled.

“Leave the puppy dog eyes to Max,” Matt said. He gave Frank a final kiss before pushing off of his lap and sliding onto the floor.

Frank flopped backward onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. “You’re killing me, Red.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Matt said as he walked toward Frank’s closet. He rifled through the shirts that were hung there. He gasped softly when he found one that he liked and turned around to show it to Frank.

“You could wear this tonight?” He held up a sweater with a skull emblazoned across the center for Frank to look at. Frank craned his neck to peek at the shirt.

“I hate that shirt,” Frank said before flopping his head backward onto the bed.

Matt made a face. “What? You know I bought you this, right?”

Frank didn’t lift his head when he responded, but Matt could hear the smile in his voice. “Oh yeah? I must’ve forgot.”

Matt turned around to continue picking through Frank’s wardrobe. “Asshole,” he muttered, somehow making the word sound just as affectionate as every time he’d moaned Frank’s name whenever they got the chance to sneak away to one of their bedrooms.

Frank got up slowly from the bed. He creeped up behind Matt and wrapped his arms around his torso, resting his chin on Matt’s shoulder.

“I can pick out my own clothes, you know,” Frank said before pressing a kiss to that same shoulder.

“I know,” Matt said, pretending not to pay Frank any attention as he continued choosing a shirt. “I’m just better at it than you are.”

“Oh, please,” Frank scoffed. “For a gay guy, your fashion sense is surprisingly lacking.”

Matt made a noise of shock. He tried to turn towards Frank but he held him in place.

“Oh, don’t act all surprised,” Frank said. “We’re supposed to be having dinner with your old man and you hand me that stupid sweater from last year’s halloween.”

“One,” Matt said, holding up a single finger. “I’m bisexual, for your information. And two, you loved that sweater! It can be worn on any occasion,” Matt said as he gazed down at the shirt. He looked at it for a few more seconds before placing it back on the rack. “It went with the one you got me.”

Frank shuttered at the thought of that stupid sweater. Matt had wanted to do a couple’s costume and Frank had absolutely hated the idea. The compromise was to get matching sweaters.

Frank had gotten Matt a red sweater with a little cartoon devil in the center. And Matt got Frank a midnight black sweater with a skull stitched right across his chest.

“Come on, they didn’t even match!” Frank said incredulously.

“Yeah, they did. In a way...” Matt kept looking through Frank’s closet. “You were death and I was the devil. Plus, you’re one to talk, Mr. Hoodie and Combat Boots.”

“Well, I guess you got me there,” Frank said pressing another kiss to Matt’s shoulder, then his neck. “You know, you may not be the best stylist, but I know something else I think you’d be pretty good at.”

Matt did his best to ignore Frank’s hardness pressing against his ass, and to ignore his own dick starting to tent the front of his pants again.

“Oh yeah,” Matt said. “And how would you know that?” he asked as he examined another shirt.

“I don’t, but I’d like to. If you’d ever get over that bottom shame of yours...”

Matt made another surprised noise and shrugged Frank’s arms off of him. He turned to face Frank with a long sleeved black dress shirt in his hands. “I do not have bottom shame! You’re just so much better at it than I am.”

Matt threw the shirt at Frank’s head and walked past him back toward the bed where he’d dropped his own shoes and book bag.

Frank stripped off the old t-shirt he was wearing and started to replace it with the shirt Matt had “given” him.

“While riding your dick is one of my many specialized skills,” Frank said, pulling the shirt over his head, “You’ve yet to see my full potential.”

“Uh huh,” Matt said, smirking while he pulled on his shoes.

“Yup,” Frank said smoothing his hands down the polo and tucking it into his dark jeans. “One of these days I’m getting in that ass, Murdock.”

Matt laughed. “We’ll see how tonight goes, Castle.”

Frank pulled on his combat boots and then looked at Matt, arms raised to the side and awaiting his inspection.

Matt did a twirling motion with his index finger. Frank smirked and then spun around slowly. Matt looked him over before giving Frank a nod of approval.

“Not bad,” Matt said thoughtfully.

“You really think so?” Frank asked, his brow slightly furrowed, showing a bit of uncharacteristic nervousness. “You know I really do wanna make a good impression on your old man.”

He turned and looked at himself in the full-body mirror he had leaning against one corner of his wall.

“Maybe I should wear that purple shirt. The one I wore for my interview with the recruiter,” he said quietly while inspecting his reflection.

“Frank, you really don’t have to stress over this. My dad doesn’t even care about shit like this,” Matt said reassuringly as he approached Frank from behind. He placed his hands on Frank’s shoulder as they looked over their reflections in the mirror.

“Clothes don’t make the man. And you’re an amazing one, regardless of what you wear. Anyone who knows you at all could see that. Just like my dad will once you two get a proper introduction.”

“Yeah...” Frank sighed. Matt could tell he didn’t believe the words.

“Come on, don’t be nervous,” Matt said, rubbing Frank’s arms.

“I’m not nervous,” Frank scoffed. “I just... wanna be prepared, is all.”

“Okay,” Matt smiled. Now it was his turn not to believe Frank. He pressed a kiss to Frank’s cheek. “Let’s get going.”

Matt zipped up a coat he’d grabbed out of Frank’s closet. “And you actually should bring your hoodie. It’s starting to get really cold out there.”

“Thanks, Mom. I’ll be sure to do that,” Frank joked. “If I have any left.”

Matt just shrugged, smiling as he walked back to where he’d dropped his bag. He grabbed it and slung the strap over one shoulder before looking at Frank expectedly.

“Alright, time to meet the man behind the myth. Battlin’ Jack Murdock himself,” Frank said as they walked toward the bedroom door. Frank grabbed his boyfriend’s arm and pulled him in for a brief kiss.

“Oh, please call him that,” Matt laughed once Frank released him. “Anything that reminds him of his glory days will get you major brownie points.”

“Good to know,” Frank smiled back.

Frank pulled open the door and then motioned for Matt to walk out first. Matt rolled his eyes and then strolled out of the door, Frank on his heels.

They walked down the stairs that led directly into Frank’s living room. Mr. Castle was spread out across the couch, a beer in one hand as he stared at the tv. Once he noticed Frank and Matt, he sneered and turned back to whatever was playing on the screen.

“We’re heading out,” Frank said as he walked across the room, not bothering to look up as he addressed his father. He opened the front door and let Matt walk out. Matt stopped before completely leaving the house.

“It was nice seeing you, Mr. Castle,” Matt said civilly. Mr. Castle kept staring at the television set as if no one else was in the room.

They both walked out of the house and Frank closed the door behind them. They went down the stairs and then onto the sidewalk, beginning the trek to Matt’s apartment.

“One of these days I’ll get him to acknowledge my existence. I mean, for a second time,” Matt joked, referencing the disastrous first meeting he’d had with Frank’s family.

 _Matt had insisted on meeting Frank’s parents. He’d reasoned that they should at least get the chance to know their son’s boyfriend, despite Frank’s many warnings._

_Mrs. Castle was a shy woman, who’d spent the majority of that fateful evening in the kitchen preparing a meal that no one would get to enjoy._

_Mr. Castle had sniffed at Matt before muttering that he had expected Frank to “bring back some kinda fairy, not the son of a boxer from Hell’s Kitchen.” He’d asked Matt why he had decided to be a sissy when he had so many options in front of him, unlike his own loser son who was sure to end up a deadbeat, already on a road to nowhere fast._

_After that, Frank had lost it and Matt spent the remainder of the night trying to keep his boyfriend from beating the shit out of his father. Frank’s mother offered Matt a hushed apology as they left, making sure that her husband didn’t overhear her disagreement with him. Somehow, her words hadn’t made either Matt or Frank feel any better._

“Don’t joke about that,” Frank said. He shook his head at the memory of that night. At the image of the man he was forced to call his father. “You don’t know how sorry I am about that whole thing.”

Matt sighed. “I was just kidding, Frank. I-“

“I know you were, but I’m not,” Frank said, suddenly serious. “My pops is a piece of shit. Always has been, always will be,” Frank said as they walked. “He’s never much cared for me or about being a decent guy in general. He’s made that much clear. Especially after I told him about… you know,” Frank gestured between himself and his boyfriend.

Matt reached over and grabbed Frank’s hand as he spoke. Frank took pride in the way Matt didn’t scan the streets to see if anyone was paying attention to them before he did it. He let the warmth in his chest sit for a minute before he continued.

“Now I don’t care what that old bastard thinks of me, but he’s not ever gonna disrespect you, you hear me?” Frank took a breath before speaking. “I’m just sorry I put you through all that.”

“Hey,” Matt said after giving Frank’s hand a squeeze. “It’s not your fault, it’s his. Plus, I’m the one that wanted to have dinner with your family. I guess... I just thought you were exaggerating when you told me how awful your dad was.”

Frank whistled between his teeth and let his eyebrows raise a few inches as he shook his head. “Yeah, I definitely was not doing that.”

“I’m sorry, Frank,” Matt said apologetically. He let go of Frank’s hand and draped his arm over his shoulder to pull him just a little closer.

Matt felt a little guilty bringing Frank to meet his own father, knowing what he’d have to go home to. Especially since Jack Murdock wasn’t too sure about Frank, either. Matt could tell even though he hadn’t outright said as much.

His thoughts must’ve shown on his face because Frank spoke up once he looked at him.

“Hey, stop that,” Frank said, bumping Matt softly. “My shit’s not your fault.”

“I know,” Matt said, exasperated. “But-“

“But nothing,” Frank interrupted. “You shouldn’t feel bad for having a good father anymore than I should for having a shitty one. I know how much you look up to your old man. You’re proud of him and you should be.”

Matt stared at Frank as he spoke. He studied every feature of his boyfriend’s face, from his strong brow to his gorgeous brown eyes, to his crooked nose, broken one-too-many times from winning battles no kid should have to fight in the first place.

Matt watched as Frank wet his soft lips to continue speaking. He mentally chastised himself for zoning out while Frank was talking to him. Especially since Frank would kill him if he knew Matt was still feeling sorry for him. He wouldn’t mind the other thoughts he was thinking, though.

“You’re lucky, Matt. Don’t ever feel bad because somebody cares about you and wants the best for you... I just hope I make the cut,” Frank said.

“Oh, come on, Frank,” Matt said. “Stop selling yourself short. You know I hate it when you do that,” Matt squeezed Frank’s shoulder.

Frank stopped walking and looked at Matt.

“You seriously telling me your dad doesn’t mind you slumming it with some punk kid who works at a gas station?”

“Frank, you’re not some “punk kid,” Matt said. He knew Frank was at least half-joking, but the fact he believed even a fraction of that sentence was bullshit.

“You are the hardest working person I know. The most selfless person I know. The strongest person I know.”

Matt grabbed both of Frank’s hands and looked into his eyes. “You’re the best person I know,” Matt said, pouring every piece of himself that he could into his words.

“My dad will see that. But even if he doesn’t, I see it, Frank. And even if somehow I didn’t, all that goodness is still inside of you. You know it,” Matt said. “You have to know that, Frank.”

Frank just smiled a sad, indulgent smile at Matt. He gave Matt a soft punch to the chin.

“Thanks, Red,” Frank said softly. “Let’s go have dinner, yeah?”

They went the rest of the way to Matt’s apartment in silence, bumping shoulders as they walked side by side.

Once they reached his building, Matt opened the front door and ushered Frank inside. They walked up the stairs until they reached Matt’s two bedroom flat. Frank wiped his sweaty palms down the front of his jeans and took a deep breath. Matt leaned over and gave Frank a final kiss before they went inside.

He rubbed Frank’s arm softly. “Don’t be nervous,” he smiled.

“I’m not nervous,” Frank grunted. “Just open the damn door, will ya?”

Matt smiled and pulled out his keys. He opened the door and pushed inside. The smell of hot pizza filled the entire room.

“That you, Matty?” Jack called from a bedroom at the end of the hallway.

“Yeah, Dad,” Matt called back. “Me and Frank.”

Jack’s heavy footsteps came around the corner and stopped in front of the two boys. The silver-haired man still looked to be in pretty good shape as he towered over them both, lean muscles hidden under a pair of jeans and an old sweatshirt.

He reached out and grabbed Matt, pulling him forward and planting a kiss on the top of his head. Matt shoved him away good-naturedly, doing his best to look annoyed and failing miserably.

“Dad, this is Frank,” Matt said gesturing to the older boy. “Frank, this is my dad.”

Jack thrust his hand toward Frank. “Call me Jack. Nice to meet you, son,” he said gruffly.

“Frank. Frank Castle,” Frank said before reaching out and shaking Jack’s hand. “Pleasure to meet you, sir.”

Jack shook Frank’s hand with an iron grip and Frank did his best to match the old man’s strength. After a moment, Jack smiled and nodded his approval.

“Have a seat,” he gestured to the couch for Frank. Once he sat, Jack lowered himself onto a single recliner directly across from him. The pizza was sitting on small coffee table in the center of the room next to a short stack of paper plates. Matt ignored them both as he went down the hall Jack had just exited, looking a bit confused.

“Dad, where’s Max?” Matt said, his eyes now scanning the living room for any sign of the dog. Normally, he would’ve been all over Matt, and especially Frank, the minute they walked through the door.

“I left him downstairs with Nelson. No way I’m putting up with that mutt for my own sake,” Jack grunted his annoyance. “Besides, he’ll have more fun down there with him than he ever would up here with me.”

Matt sighed. “Ugh, Dad! Frank was looking forward to seeing him today. I’ll go get him.”

Jack nodded at his son. “Good. Take your time. It’ll give me and Frank here a chance to get to know each other a little better.”

Matt stopped walking halfway to the door. He turned and looked at his dad skeptically.

“What?” Jack asked, the one word placing his strong New York accent on full display.

Matt rolled his eyes and turned toward Frank. “You gonna be okay up here?”

“Sure, Red. Like he said, take your time,” Frank smiled confidently. Matt didn’t look convinced, but he left the room anyway. Frank watched as he turned and walked out of the apartment.

After the door slammed behind Matt, Jack brought back the attention Frank hadn’t realized he stopped paying him.

“‘Red’, huh?” Jack asked quietly.

“Uh, yeah. Just a nickname, sir,” Frank said.

“Yeah,” Jack nodded once. Jack was taking his time looking Frank over, while Frank said nothing.

Once the silence started to move from uncomfortable to unbearable, Jack cleared his throat and finally spoke.

“Sorry you’re not getting a home-cooked meal tonight,” Jack said. “Matty usually does all the cooking around here.”

Frank chuckled as he sat lightly on the end of his cushion. “That’s not a problem, sir. As long as I’m eating something, I’m a happy man.”

“That’s good,” Jack said, looking at Frank critically again. “So,” he said finally, “you and Matty share any of the same classes? Maybe with him and Foggy?”

Frank cleared his throat and rested his elbows on his knees before he responded. “Actually, sir, I graduated about 2 years back.”

“That’s right,” Jack said, recalling the little information Matt divulged about his secret boyfriend. He sniffed as he continued to look at Frank, staring him right in the eyes. “So, how’d you and Matty meet, then?”

“Your son was assigned to tutor me, in, uh, history,” Frank said slowly. “That class was my last requirement I needed to graduate. I never would’ve made it out of that school without Matthew’s help, sir. He’s a real genius.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” Jack said, finally relaxing a bit. “That’s how my boy got into Columbia. Full ride, too.”

Jack was beaming with pride as he looked skyward for a brief moment. He was still looking into nowhere when he asked his next question.

“So, what do you do, Frank?” Jack asked. “You in school? Working?”

Frank cleared his throat. “I work a couple of jobs, yeah. I work part time at the stop and shop on the corner of 35th and Main. I do a little unloading on the docks for Roxxon some nights. And I’m trying my hand at construction.”

Jack nodded as Frank spoke. “So you keep busy,” he said approvingly. “It’s good to see you kids aren’t afraid of a little hard work.”

Jack rose from his chair and walked slowly toward the kitchen. He called to Frank without turning around. “You want something to drink?”

“Yes, sir. Anything is fine,” Frank called back. When Jack entered the room he had two bottles of beer in his hands. He stopped in front of Frank and extended a bottle towards him. Frank looked up at Jack slowly.

“I’m not old enough to drink, sir.” Frank didn't mention that it was only about two months until that statement wouldn't be true anymore.

“That never stopped me,” Jack shrugged. The bottle still floating in front of Frank’s face.

“I’ll just have a soda or something, if it’s all the same to you,” Frank said after a long moment of silence. Jack stayed still for a couple of seconds before finally retracting the bottle.

“Good man,” Jack smiled. He left the room and came back with a can of soda. He handed it to Frank before easing himself back into the chair. He popped the cap off of his beer and took a sip.

“Have some pizza, Frank,” he said as he leaned forward to get his own slice.

“Thank you, sir,” Frank said as he followed suit, glad to finally have permission to eat.

“You’re a polite kid,” Jack said after swallowing. That just happened to be the moment that Frank decided to stuff half of the folded slice of pizza into his mouth, ignoring the plates Jack had set out for him to use.

“Oh, uh... thank you,” Frank said slowly, around a mouthful of pizza.

“You’re welcome,” Jack laughed. He took another sip of his beer. “So, what do you want to do after, Frank?”

“Um,” Frank still looked a little caught off guard, his mouth full of another bite of pizza. “I was just gonna head home after dinner, sir. Unless you had something else in mind...”

Jack laughed again. “Nah, Frank. I meant after the corner store and construction jobs. You goin’ back to school?”

Frank cleared his throat as he sat up straighter in his seat. He swallowed his last bite and turned to Jack. “Uh, no sir. No plans like that. School’s never really been my strong suit.”

“So, what, then? You gonna stick around here while Matty heads off to get his education?”

Frank took a swig from his can, starting to regret not accepting that beer. He let out a heavy breath before answering Jack. “Actually, sir, I’ve been thinking of joining the marines.”

“ _More than thinking_ ,” Matt would have said under his breath, had he ever come back from getting that damn dog.

Frank’s joining the marines had long been a touchy subject for Matt. Matt had argued that the military was often unethical and did more harm than they did good, for both the lives of the people they claimed to fight for and the soldiers who risked their lives to uphold a racist “American” dream. Plus, he just hated the idea of Frank being thousands of miles away, putting himself in danger each and every day.

But Frank held far less reservations than he did. Matt had little luck convincing him that joining the marines wasn’t the pinnacle of discipline and honor. Frank had his mind made up that being a marine was just about the greatest thing he could do with his life.

“Really,” Jack said, sounding skeptical. “Well, what about you and Matty?”

Frank blew out a breath and smiled ruefully. He was not liking this line of questioning.

“We’d stay together,” Frank said, looking Jack in the eyes as he gripped his own knee to keep his fists from clenching. Jack’s eyes dropped to that hand.

Frank did his best to stay calm. He knew that these were concerns any parent would have if their kid brought some hood like Frank home. But he couldn’t shake the irritation that crept up his spine any time someone made assumptions about who he was, as he knew Jack was doing now.

“We talked about it and we think we could make it.”

“ _I know we can_ ,” Matt would have chimed in. Where the hell was he anyway? Frank didn’t want to see the mutt this bad.

Jack dragged his eyes away from Frank’s knee and back to his face. “You don’t think that’s selfish to ask of him?”

“Well, I didn’t ask him to do anything he didn’t want to do, sir. We made this decision together.” Jack just shook his head.

“Matty’s gonna have a lot on his plate with his studies. Columbia’s a tough school, he doesn’t need any distractions keeping him from his work-“

“Well, he’s a big boy. And so am I,“ Frank said. “He tells me to back off, that’s what I’ll do.”

Jack’s eyes narrowed dangerously as he stared at Frank. Frank felt like doing the same to him, but he thought better of it. Better to do some damage control, if only for Matt’s sake.

“Listen, sir,” Frank said. He looked Jack dead in his eyes as he spoke. “If I had a son or a little girl of my own, I know I’d do my best to keep them safe. Keep ‘em happy. So, I understand that you just want the best for Matthew. But I can guarantee you that I’d never hurt your son. Not under any circumstances. You don’t have to worry about that.”

Jack set his bottle on the table with a sharp clank and leaned forward, not once breaking eye contact. “Well, Frank, you’ll have to forgive me if I find that statement hard to believe.”

Frank leaned forward, too. He knew this was gonna be Jack’s last strike.

“My son’s already gonna have it hard enough as it is. Both of you kids are,” he said sadly. “Living in this world and loving who you love is gonna be an uphill battle all on its own. And my boy’s not coming from the best of circumstances,” he said, gesturing around the sparse living room.

“I’m always gonna worry about Matt. His future. I want him to have better than what I had growing up, than what I could give him,” Jack said.

“He’s got a real shot at success. He’s got a good head on his shoulders and an even bigger heart. With that degree in his hand he’ll be unstoppable,” he swallowed. “And he don’t need somebody just like his old man holding him back from that.”

Frank blew out a breath and just shook his head. He knew this was coming.

Frank absorbed every one of Jack’s words against his will. He let them wash over him before nodding to himself. Resigning himself to yet another fight. He just hoped he had the strength to win what he knew would be the most important one yet.

All his life, Frank had been told some version of what Jack was saying to him right now. He had been a thug, a criminal, a disappointment. Matt had been the first person to see him as something else. And he didn't want to lose that feeling.

But Jack had done an exceptional job of reaching past the fence Matt had built around him and exposing his biggest fear: that he didn’t deserve any of it. That Matt just showing him this kindness was somehow pulling him into the cloud of darkness that seemed to follow Frank wherever he went.

Maybe Matt wasn’t pulling him out of the rain he’d been drowning in for as long as he could remember, maybe he was forcing Matt to drown with him.

But even if that were the case, it just wasn’t in Frank to go down doing anything but swinging. Too bad old Battlin’ Jack was the same way.

“You know what, Jack-“ Frank said, finally bristling.

“And what do I know, Frank?” Jack stood up from his chair and Frank took that as an invitation to stand right up with him.

Jack just looked down his nose at Frank as Frank got ready to let the old man have it.

“Listen up, you fucking has-been-“

“Now, look here,” Jack said a little too loudly. “I don’t have anything against you, kid. I’m just trying to be a good father. My son deserves a better life than this and you can’t give that to him. We both know it!”

Frank was just about to tell Jack what he thought about that little speech when the door creaked open. Max’s loud barks were followed by Matt’s soft footsteps.

Matt took in the sight of the two of them, immediately dropped Max’s leash and slammed the door shut. He ran over to the two of them. Max started to run behind him but Matt gave him a sharp “Stay!” and the dog plopped down right where it stood.

“What happened?” Matt demanded. He shoved his way between the two of them and looked them both over. At least no blows had been dealt. Yet.

“What. Happened.” Matt asked again.

“You know I’m right, Frank,” Jack said, looking right through Matt and directly at Frank.

Frank breathed heavily through his nose for several seconds. He was really about to take his chances with the former prize fighter, but one look at Matt’s face and he knew he couldn’t do it. Finally he sneered at Jack and turned away.

“Fuck this,” he muttered angrily. He stomped toward the door, ignoring Max’s whines as the dog watched him leave.

“Frank, wait!” Matt grabbed his arm. Frank looked at Matt, the sadness and confusion on his face enough to break his heart in two. Matt just kept staring at him, waiting for an explanation.

“I’ll call you, Red,” Frank said lowly. He placed a hand on Matt’s cheek and just looked at him. Soaking up the sight of him for a few moments.

Frank opened the door and stomped out. Matt was about to run after him but Jack grabbed his arm and pulled him back. Matt yanked as hard as he could but Jack held on until he guessed Frank was far enough that Matt wouldn’t catch him so fast.

Finally, Matt pulled his arm free. “What the hell is your problem?” Matt yelled.

“Watch it, Matthew,” Jack tried to say menacingly, but his heart wasn’t in it. He hated seeing his boy this hurt, especially knowing he had something to do with it. But it was for his own good, Jack knew that much was true.

“What’d you say to him?” Matt demanded. Jack said nothing, still breathing heavily from his and Frank’s standoff.

“Somebody’s gonna start answering me!” Matt yelled again. “What’d you say to him, Dad?”

“Nothing but the truth, Matty. He’s not good enough for you.”

“And how would you know that?” Matt asked incredulously. “You just met him fifteen minutes ago!”

“I know his kind,” Jack said stubbornly.

“Oh, please!” Matt laughed. “What does that even mean?”

“It means that kid’s going nowhere fast, Matty!” Jack yelled. “You have a bright future ahead of you and you’re too smart to waste it chasing after some boy!”

“I do have a bright future, Dad, and Frank’s a part of it! And you’re just gonna have to deal with that,” Matt said sternly. “Or don’t. I don’t even care anymore.”

Matt turned to look for his coat to run after Frank. Just as he gave up and decided to bear the cold weather, Jack’s words stopped him cold.

“God, you are so much like your mother,” Jack muttered.

Matt spun around to face him again. “Don’t you ever compare me to that woman.”

“And why not?” Jack asked. “You’re both young and ended up deep in shit way over your heads. And both times it was my fault,” Jack shook his head, the disappointment in himself just as heavy a weight as it always was.

“You’re too smart and way too stubborn for your own good,” Jack said. “And you’re about to make the biggest mistake of your life, chasing after some kid who does not deserve you!” Jack punctuated his sentence with a point toward the direction Frank left in.

Matt just looked at him. “So, you’re saying I was a mistake? Got it.”

Jack grabbed his son’s shoulders and held him in place before he could turn away again. “No, Matty. I was the mistake! And I can’t watch you get hurt the way I hurt her.”

Matt shook him off. “Mom hurt me!” he yelled. “She ran away and left me behind when I needed her. For years!” Matt was on the verge of tears now.

“I got hurt because she was a quitter. Because she gave up and took off. I’m not gonna do that to anyone else. Especially not to Frank.”

“You taught me to trust myself and to never give up. To see the good in people! In people like you!” Matt said. “You’re a good man, Dad! As much you don’t want to believe it.”

Matt breathed heavily. “Or so I thought. The Jack Murdock I know would never treat somebody the way you treated Frank.”

“God!” Jack yelled in frustration. “Can’t you see that I just want what’s best for you! You’re my baby boy!”

“He’s a baby too, Dad!” Matt yelled, begging his father to look past himself and see the good in Frank. “He deserves love and good things just like I do. Like we all do.”

Jack held his son and did his best not to shake him. He hoped at least a small part of everything that he said would resonate enough with Matt to make him see sense, but his frustration was starting to get the best of him.

“There’s that Maggie in you again,” Jack said. The sadness in his voice did nothing but piss Matt off even more. “Too stupid to see you’re about to get involved in somebody with nothing for you! I’m just trying to protect you!”

Matt was sick of hearing his mother’s name. He didn’t want to hear about her or anything else his father had to say ever again.

“You know what? Maybe I am like Mom,” Matt said angrily. “Neither of us could wait to get the hell away from you.”

Jack’s looked as if Matt had slapped him. “You know, I always thought it was my fault that she left. But maybe it was you, Dad. Maybe she didn’t want to be trapped with somebody who felt so shitty about themselves that they made other people feel the same way.”

Matt looked directly in his father’s eyes. He couldn’t bring himself to care about the pain that was all over his face, not when every second was another that Frank was using to get further away from him.

“Well, I don’t want to be like that, Dad. Not ever.”

Jack didn’t stop him when he finally ran out of the door, outside of the building and toward Frank’s brownstone.

Matt didn’t see where he was going so much as he was letting his memory guide him across streets and down sidewalks. He just needed to find Frank.

There he was. Walking slowly through the dark night, shoulders slumped and hands buried deep in the pockets of his leather coat.

“Frank! Wait!” Matt yelled. He ran to cross the street, not paying attention to the oncoming traffic.

Frank turned around quickly. “Red?” he said questioningly. Matt watched his face shift from confused to terrified in less than a second. “Red!” Frank roared. “Look out!” Frank broke out in a run directly toward Matt.

Matt turned a second later but it was too late. A truck was barreling toward him, skidding to a stop as the driver slammed on her breaks to avoid hitting him, but neither she, Frank nor Matt were quick enough.

The truck fell on its side and whatever contents were inside its tank spilled onto the street. A healthy amount of it splashed onto Matt’s face as he moved to get away from the vehicle.

He fell to his knees and let out a blood curdling scream as the chemicals ate away at his skin. He could smell his flesh burning as he clawed at his eyes.

He fell backwards and blinked furiously, trying and failing to rid himself of the pain he was feeling. The next thing he knew, he was being cradled in Frank’s lap, his boyfriend’s face staring down at his as he sobbed over him.

“You’re okay, Red,” he choked out. “You’re okay, baby, please. They’re coming to help you. They’re so close, Red...”

Matt hadn’t even realized he was floating in and out of consciousness before he was almost out of it for good. The last thing he saw was a blurry picture of Frank’s tear stained face as paramedics forced him away from Matt.

He was laid flat on the cold concrete as the paramedics huddled over his body. He remembered blinking before Frank left him but now he was going into shock from the pain and he felt like he could barely open his eyes. As a matter of fact, he couldn’t open them at all.

“His eyes are unresponsive,” a man echoed faintly. “Get him on the gurney, now.”

Matt tried to look around to see who they were talking about but he couldn’t find the strength to open his eyes no matter how hard he tried. All he saw was a deep, all encompassing nothingness. A kind of darkness he hadn’t remembered ever seeing.

“Move it! Let me through, that’s my son over there!” He heard his father yell, sounding as if he were miles away. He wanted to see him but his eyes still refused to cooperate.

It was then that the pain got the best of him. Matt passed out before he got to the chance to tell Frank or Jack that he was fine and not to worry. He figured he could just let them know the next time he saw them.

*****

Jack stared at his son through the window separating himself from Matt and all of the other patients in the ICU. He had cried so much the entire night before that his eyes were sandpaper dry, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t taking his eyes off of his son until he finally woke up.

He took in the sight of his baby, looking so unlike himself as the harsh lights of the hospital room shone down on him, making him look even more pale than usual.

He tensed as he heard the heavy footfalls of Frank’s combat boots come rushing down the hallway. 

The kid had tried to spend the night along with him, but the hospital staff had told him it was only family allowed back until regular visitor hours started in the morning. And Jack was sure as shit not about to make a case for him. He just convinced the kid to go get a little sleep and come back in a couple hours. Jack was disappointed, but not surprised when Frank had come running back in as soon as he was allowed.

Frank’s footsteps slowed as he neared before stopping completely. He just stood there silently. Without turning around, Jack knew the sight of Matt in that hospital bed had left him speechless.

Jack still didn’t face Frank when he spoke. He realized his throat was equally as dry as his eyes when the words he was looking for the courage to say finally left his lips.

“He’s blind,” Jack said. “Doctors won’t say it, but they’re pretty sure it’s permanent.”

Frank inhaled sharply. A long moment of silence passed before Frank responded.

“When can I see him?” Frank asked.

Jack turned to face him. “You didn’t hear what I said?” he asked harshly. “My son is blind. The paramedics say he was hit by a truck. And I think we both know it was because he was chasing after you.”

Frank wanted to fight. To take the bait the old man was laying out for him, but he didn’t have it in him. Not now. Especially since he couldn’t deny that Jack was right.

Matt was lying in a hospital bed, in the worst pain of his life, and who knew how he’d react once he woke up. All because he was running himself ragged trying to take care of Frank.

Jack belatedly noticed the flowers in the boy’s hands. He chose not to address them when he spoke again.

“This is what I was afraid of, Frank. If you two keep this up, you’re only gonna get hurt. And I have a feeling Matty’s gonna get the worst of it,” Jack waved his hand at the window they were both looking through. The evidence of the truth in his words all right here in front of him.

Frank nodded his agreement and then looked down at his feet. His chin quivered as he spoke. “I’ll just say goodbye, then I’m gone. You won’t have to worry about me after that.”

“You really think that’s a good idea?” Jack asked. “You see what happened to him the last time you two went chasing after each other?” He gestured toward the Matt’s room.

“Look at him,” he urged quietly.

Jack waited a beat before speaking again.“He’s had enough pain, Frank. You both have,” he sighed sympathetically. “Just go home.”

Frank looked up from his boots and back through the plate glass window while the love of his life lay unconscious on the other side. A few tears streamed down his face as he watched Matt.

“Just tell him I came by, yeah?” he said, not taking his eyes off of Matt.

“I will,” Jack said, already deciding to lie.

Frank nodded once and held out the flowers for Jack to take. As he reached out for them, a series of alarms started going off inside of Matt’s room.

Matt shot upward in the bed, turning his head frantically. He rubbed at his eyes a couple of times before he started to scream again.

“Dad!” Matt yelled. He was starting to hyperventilate.

“Nurse! We need a doctor here!” Jack thundered as he ran back into the room, leaving Frank and the flowers behind.

He wrapped Matt up in his arms as he sobbed loudly into Jack’s shoulder. “I can’t see, Dad! I can’t see!”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Jack shushed. “Calm down. Daddy’s got ya. I’m right here, alright? I’m right here...”

Doctors and nurses rushed past Frank and into Matt’s room. They shooed Jack out of the way and held Matt down as he thrashed against their arms.

Jack covered his mouth as he watched the doctor inject one of Matt’s IVs with what must’ve been a pretty light sedative, because Matt didn’t pass out. He just lay in bed and continued sobbing quietly.

Once they gave him the go-ahead, he wrapped his son up in another bear hug and held him as he cried.

Frank watched in horror as the whole spectacle unfolded from outside of the room. Once the doctor’s had left and it was nothing but Matt and Jack left in the room, he allowed himself a few more seconds to watch Matt before he left.

“See ya around, Red,” Frank said quietly enough that no one could hear it but him. Or so he thought.

Matt’s head shot up as soon as he muttered those few words. His sightless eyes scanned the room as he hiccuped through a short break between his sobs.

“Frank?” he asked quietly.

Jack made eye contact with Frank over one of Matt’s shoulders, maintaining it as he answered him. “No, son. It’s just me.”

Matt turned his head frantically, blindly searching the room before burying his head back in the crook of Jack’s neck.

Frank forced his feet to carry him away from the window and out of the hospital. He moved quickly down the corridor, scared that he would turn right around if he didn’t keep moving forward.

He used a shaky hand to throw the flowers into a trashcan as he left. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself before he left the hospital and went back out onto the mean streets of New York.

The cold weather bit through the sweater he’d thrown on in haste to get back to the hospital. As he walked with no set destination in his mind, he pulled the skull emblazoned shirt tighter around his body, imagining the heavy weight of Matt’s chest against his back. Keeping him warm, protecting Frank in all the ways he’d failed to protect to Matt.

He would use those memories like blankets on cold nights sleeping under the stars, next to his brothers in arms. When he would wake up in his own hospital bed, his reality once again made up of things pulled right out of his worst nightmares. When he lay with broken bones, tired after a long night of inflicting punishment on those who dared hurt someone the way Frank had hurt so many close to him; huddled in a makeshift safe house hidden away in a dark corner of this forsaken city.

He would always remember his Red, and sometimes even laugh at the fact that, of all the crumbs of happiness he’d found in this shitty life God had given him, the devil had given him the greatest one.

**Author's Note:**

> this wasn’t supposed to be the beginning of a series, but after my brain hit me with a bunch of ideas and refused to leave me alone until i wrote them down, i had to continue the story. but if you’d like, you can just read this fic as a stand alone piece it was intended to be.
> 
> as always, i hope i did these characters justice. lmk if you enjoyed it!
> 
> also, go listen to “everything i wanted”. its amazing 🥺.
> 
> hmu at @maniskordaze on twitter and tumblr!


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